Finding a Therapist as a Black, Millennial Woman
Before I was a therapist, I was a Black millennial woman looking for therapist and it was a trip! This was 2015 and I was in my first “real career” job and stressed out of my mind. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, I was overwhelmed, and I was feeling stuck in my relationship with my partner. So, like the budding mental health professional I was, I looked for a therapist.
On top of the normal struggles of finding a therapist like finding someone who was in my price range (I was ready to invest in myself), someone who used the modalities I wanted to explore, someone who had openings, and someone who had the right availability I had all these other things to consider.
I wanted a therapist who could understand where I was coming from as a Black woman, who I wouldn’t have to explain to many things to, who wouldn’t give me a look when I used slang or mentioned a song that was helping me to get through (I was deep into Miguel and Coldplay at that point), and who would understand why I was afraid of getting too loud during meetings (hello angry Black woman stereotypes.)
I also needed a therapist who wouldn’t remind me of one of my aunties. I did not want anyone quoting scripture (unless I asked for it), making faces if I cussed during sessions, or looking at me sideways when I mentioned my love of meditation practices from all cultures. I needed a therapist who would help me go deeper into the mysteries of my inner self and invite me to explore my feelings, thoughts, parts of myself and my spirituality in new ways.
Black millennial women need healing spaces where we can be our full selves, our full Black selves, spiritual selves, emotional selves, sensitive selves, and adventurous millennial selves.
These spaces can be very challenging to find especially in therapy. I have sat with so many Black women clients who are relieved to be able to talk about
the mess going on in their workplace and the stress of finding a good hairstylist
the beauty of a good cocktail and concert and the beauty of being in a room full of joyful Black people
their newfound curiosity about sound baths and their fond experiences in the faith they grew up in
their appreciation for Black love and their desire to break down toxic norms and create relationships that are healthier than any they have every seen before
Finding a therapeutic space like that is not easy but it is worth the effort. I have worked with a few different therapists over the years (some Black and some not) who have held space for me in a way that is beautiful and holistic. I truly believe that these spaces have helped me to become the therapist that I am today.
If you are a Black, millennial woman looking for that space maybe I can provide it for you (if you live in California or Texas)! But no matter what my hope for you is that you have ease in the process of finding that space for yourself, once you do find it you will see the search was so worth it.
